Strange days indeed

So picking up from where I was heading in last nights' post, on Thursday I was seeking some help with a repair from Wanda, who despite her talking about the past, is a great trainer and very efficient and much like myself, always looking for ways to make her job easier and faster.  I was working on something I was enjoying and I messed up a wire and I thought she would be a great resource since the lead was not around, which is more often than not the case.

And my supervisor and the lead walked up behind me and in the middle of the room and begins to reprimand me for going to Wanda and to go to my lad and trainer (as if I have never tried to do just that) and what I was thinking was 1) how totally unprofessional and inappropriate to scold me in front of everyone and 2) my lead/trainer is never around because you have her running around doing your work and when she is there to assist, what she actually does is put it under her scope, where I cannot see what she is doing and learn nothing from it OR she tells me to go fix it when I have come to her to learn their process for doing so, duh!.  I didn't say any of that, I just said okay.  But inside I was stewing and went to the bathroom to cry for a minute because cussing is not allowed and it was all I could do otherwise.

By the end of the day I was in with HR and voicing my complaint about the treatment and explaining my dilemma with my "trainer" who does not train well at all.  Nothing against her personally but as a trainer she is horrible because she does not listen or hear when I tell her I am a visual learner and when I see a thing done, anything at all, I can then do it.  And Wanda is always very helpful and always at her station nearby.

So before 6 am yesterday morning the supervisor, with my lead in tow, was walking past my stating saying loud enough for a couple of rows t hear " I am a professional" and of course the lead says "yes you are a professional".  Had I not found it so comical I would have said "a professional at what?"  or in a more passive aggressive manner " yeah that is real professional".  I basically ignored them since I was still working on the project from Thursday and enjoying myself and at the same time wondering if he was trying to intimidate me.  He failed, I just laughed about them all day.  Then they came back to me late in the afternoon and said they understood I needed a "buddy", someone to help me with issues when Lead/trainer is not around.  So they assigned someone to me and brought her over to tell her she was now my help buddy and to help me when lead/trainer is MIA.  Not Wanda, who is nearby, but another lady who is as far my station as one can get.  It felt like they were making fun of me and again I blew it off to childish behavior and considering the source(s) and realizing his being a bully will not get to me again because I refuse to give him the satisfaction.

At the end of the day lead/trainer walked by and said "we are working 10 hours tomorrow" and I said I cannot do 10 but would be happy to do the 8.  So I drag in there at 5 am and by 7 am they told me to go home that they had nothing else for me to do.  Oh really?  Yesterday we are doing 10 and today I am doing 2?  OK, whatever.  I really need to look for a different job, I just really lack time with the normal schedule.  Since I have had time today, I made a new chime:

I have a good source of supply for horseshoes, so I started with this one ^

Pretty, yeah?

And I need to get on job searching and tending to my garden.  Right now I feel like I could use a nap.  I have been watching the vultures all morning an taking pictures and videos, which I will share at least some of them.

More pictures from today:

I also have to go through and cull through the few hundred pictures of the vulture activity to get to anything else since this will only show me my last 40 pictures or so.  I couldn't help it, I was captivated by the activity and sometimes they came low and close but never when the camera was on them and then I would be too late.  But I enjoyed watching them and they are still very active so maybe I can get a better shot before the day is over.

So until tomorrow, stay blessed, be well and all my love <3

Wrote this yesterday...

I got home late today since I stopped at the grocery store so I will just post what I could not, for the life of me, post yesterday.  I really did try but with no internet my Keep would not sinc from my netbook to my phone.  So I thought I would mail it to myself, again, no connection so the email never left the netbook.  But since it is already going on 6 and I am quite tired, this will have to do until tomorrow....


Since I have been without a wifi connection all week I have not been able to blog, which has driven me a little nuts.  I still don't have a connection but fortunately Google Keep, the app I cannot live without, will have to do for now.  When Bev gets home tonight she said she would reset the box and hopefully she will not forget.  It may not be high on her list of priorities and so I will make do with what I have for now.  Since I have it on my phone also I can upload it to my page at least from there.  I have been too tired and drained to think of it until now.  I really dislike that feeling.  Out of alignment.

So Monday was a blur and the only thing I can recall is being stuck in the lead room in the morning (or maybe that was Tuessday, I'm not sure) listeneng to people smack talk other people who were not in the room.  It's draining, it really is, all that toxicity, at least for me so the following morning I asked if they talk smack about the people not in the room, what must they say about me.  Not that I give a rats patooty what anyone thinks of me, it's none of my business really, but the point was missed, being that if I wondered then maybe other people did too and they should stop it.  But what I heard instead was "well we have been here a long time" and they lost me right there because my brain went to "I don't care how long you have been here, does it give you the right to be an ugly person?" but I kept that to myself.

I do remember that I overslept on Tuesday morning so I didn't have my coffee time before heading out and I was not really awake when I started, not that I am EVER truly awake at that ungodly hour, for all intents and purposes, and so my mind went to a dark place and my mood along with it for a couple hours on all the stupid rules the place has.  Like no touching.  Not that I want to touch people, I just have a tendency to touch their arm when I talk to many people, to connect, it's a bad habit, but it is my habit and I never really gave it much thought.  No cussing, which in a place of business, is just proper , but outside, on our time (what little they give us), it should not be such a big deal if someone uses a curse word.  I have been known to use them myself, generally the tamer version, like crap or poop instead of shit, but I want to know what kind of mamby pamby pansies are offended by any word?  They are only words and cannot in themselves harm anyone in any way, unless of course someone is using them to put a curse on you, which is not what we are talking about here.

This sent me mentally off on the  right and left and which is which between the liberals and the conservatives and I don't know or really care except for my civil rights and liberties and how they should not be taking them away to be "politically correct" so as not to offend anyone.  Well, THAT offends me.  I am suppose to have, among many, the 2nd Amendment, right to free speech.  Not that I have any strong desire to take up cussing like a sailor, but should I let something slip, I don't want to be reprimanded for my slight.  You do things you would not normally do when you are tired or feeling oppressed and it is oppressive and toxic there and the hours are soul sucking.  So many times during the day, I will stop for a second, take a big drink of water and breathe deeply in and out a couple times just to recenter myself.  They still don't get why people just leave.  Duh!

But I didn't come in to rant,  or maybe I did without thinking of it that way, I just needed to "unload" and that is what I do on my blog to get stuff out of my system and I appreciate those of you who follow along and love me anyway.  It is Thursday and if I had the weekend off that might mean something but working Saturdays it just means I have 2 more days to get through before I have one off again.  I am looking forward to next Wednesday, the 4th, as far as I know we have it off and the break will be nice.  I have missed blogging, but to be entirely honest, I have been so busy and tired this week I haven't really had time, though I did try and gave up because I had other things to get done, but once I can get back to it,the days start better for me.  Iactually have been taking pictures this week, other than my garden, which I am still so proud of.   All that time and water will go in my belly when the stuff starts producing.  I am excited about that, can you tell?  LOL.

I will share a couple pictures here that I have taken the last couple mornings when I am leaving or at work, the full moon has been stupendous and I have enjoyed seeing it, even if it is at dark thirty in the morning.  It is still light out when I go to bed so I don't get to see it at night.  Even if I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, my eyes are never really open (previous housemates have said it was kind of creepy) but I don't need to, I know where my bathroom is. Besides, if I did open them and see the moon I would want to take pictures and then not get back to sleep and that wouldn't be good for anybody.  Well, it is nearing bedtime for me and I need to water my garden so I will see you tomorrow, hopefully, and until then stay blessed, be well and all my love.

This morning at work ^

Yesterday morning at work ^

Wenesday morning as I was leaving the driveway ^

I don't know what it means

Or if it means anything at all.  You know how they say that before you die that your life flashes before your eyes?  Well, that isn't what happened BUT what did was visions of Hawaii.  Places I had been or driven past hundreds of times.  Random, just different locations there flashing before my eyes.  Maybe I am just missing it but on the average day here I try not to give it a lot of thought because it is in the past and I like to leave the past where it belongs---in the past.  Unless it is debt, in which case I do what I can to work toward erasing it.

Yesterday went neither fast or slow, it just went along nicely, mostly because we can listen to our music on earbuds on Saturdays.  Music always helps.  Everything, at least for me.  After work I went grocery shopping and I will say it again I LOVE WINCO FOODS.  Emphasis because I really do!  I bought 19 items, fish, meat, dairy, fruits and veggies, and baking supplies, along with my coffee (which was the most expensive thing in my cart at 6.58) and I still only spent 51 dollars.  You can't beat that with a stick, LOL.  At first I was calculating in my head and once I hit the bulk food isle that went out the window.  The last thing I picked up was a carton of 18 eggs and it was only 1.24 for large eggs, amazing even me.

Then I stopped in to pick up some sea glass before heading home.  It was still after 4 when I got here and put my groceries away, played with the dogs and had some dinner before starting a load of laundry.  By 6 I was watering the outdoor plants in front that looked kind of wilty and while I had the hose on I washed my new sea glass, all blue, and then went to water the back after putting my wash into the dryer.  I was not doing too bad as far as energy went by 7 so I played with and brushed the cat, who really loves the new brush I bought him and will even rub his face on it when I leave it on the floor for him.  Of course I have to look for it every night but it is always full of his hair so I know he enjoys it.

I played with the dogs a little more before heading up to my room, forgetting my clean laundry and bottle of water (I tend to wake up thirsty during the night) so I went back down for them.  I was in bed by 8:30 and out soon after that.  Hey, I stayed up late.  For me.  I had started a list of things to get done today around the house and I planned to sleep in until at least 4:30 this morning.  We plan and the universe laughs.  Such was the case.

I sat upright in bed like I was late for something at 3:51 this morning.  Tried to go back to sleep but that never seems to work when I want to sleep, so I got up and was outside with my coffee by 4:15 and it was not freezing.  I sat and drank my coffee and played solitaire for awhile and by 6:00 I was inside getting my stuff measured to make cinimin rolls and realized I forgot to pull the butter out of the fridge to soften.  Oh well, I pulled it out, went and let the dogs out, watered the downstairs plants, swept and mopped the floors on Bev's side of the house (the master bedroom, bathroom, closet and laudry room), brushed the cat and covered the "butcher block" (it's not really butcher block but a really cool old table that fills in for one in the middle of the kitchen) with saran wrap so my clean up would be a breeze, I am clever after all, and checked to see how the butter was coming along.

Since it was now 7:30 my butter was ready so I finished adding my liquids to my dry ingredients and turn on the mixer.  Nothing.  Tried a different plug and still nothing.  SO I started beating it by hand.  It wasn't too bad (or nearly as efficient) for the first 2 minutes when it dawned on me to check the plug ins on the opposite side of the kitchen.  I used the one where the coffee pot is plugged in since the clock was flashing on it (power outage earlier in the week and I never rest it) and it worked.  So I moved my bowl and flour over and finished the timed mixing.  Then I switched to a big spoon for the end when it gets thicker and the mixer starts saying no.  By 8:30 I had them on baking sheets and ready to cover to rise.  I had a productive morning, to say the least.  I had knocked more than half of my list off and it was still early.  Yay me!  I'll be back....

It's been an hour or so but in that time I finished and started another load(s) of laundry, baked and frosted said cinnimon rolls and while I was frosting, my rice was cooking so when the rolls and the rice were done I made my musubis and man the house smelled awesome! I also cleaned inside the fridge, a task I started earlier this week but only got half done so now that is completely done, watered the upstairs plants and my list is all checked off and it is only 11:30 but the list was just a half dozen items that I started but that was as far as I got on it last night.  Still have some stuff I want to get done but I have plenty of time.  Think I will maybe start a chime now...

The cinnimon roll process:

Rolled out, taking up most of the table ^

On the baking sheet ready to rise ^

 

Raised and ready to bake, taking up the whole pan now ^

Baked and frosted and yes I had one: YUMMY!

I went off to make a chime hours ago because it is now after 6 pm already.  No, the chime did not take that long, I was doing other stuff, too numerous to remember it all but  I can tell you that my back is now aching and there was a couple more loads of laundry and a couple of phone calls in there, too.  Plus, when I finished the chime I went to look for a pillar candle for the chime:

which turned out quite beautifully!  It was 3:30 before I left and I almost didn't go, it was so hot and I had more stuff I wanted to get done so I almost talked myself out of it, but thankfully I failed and went because I just couldn't bring myself to take a picture of a chime until it is completely done and picture ready.  So off I went to Goodwill and the candle was the only one I could find oddly because normally they have a number of them but it was a fortutous trip anyway because had I not gone, I never would have found the "base" for my next chime:

I know it looks huge but it is really only 18 1/2" long and with all the blue glass I have, he should go quick, making Chrissy happy for venturing out on a hot Sunday.  I don't know how hot, I didn't check but it is cooling down now and it is still 97 degrees.  Bless my heart, LOL.  I also picked up a new swaetshirt because I only have a few and I wear all of them every day so I needed a new color and this one is pink and was half off so a whole $2.50 plus my old lady discount so YAY me, again.  Oh, and a new coffee mug, a cool travel mug with the rubber on the bottom.  Me likey.

I came back from my little adventure and on the way up the driveway I stopped and whacked down some blackberry stems (?) that had grown so tall they were falling down into the driveway and it was driving me crazy.  One of those bad boys, on its way down, snagged my leg with one of its little hooks and most people would pay money to have seen me fighting it off like it was a big poisonous spider or something.  Heck, I would have paid money to see me do it, it must have looked hyterical.  We shall never know but I am laughing about it now, not so much when I was trying to get that hook out of my leg and it hurt!

It was 5 when I got in and put my things away, had a bite to eat and went to get the dogs' bedding in (had the big comforter hanging out on the railing) and made their beds in the kennel.  Came outside to put the candle on the chime and get pictures and I was going to blog some more but my netbook wouldn't turn on.  Plus it was blasted hot so I went in to take a shower and walking through the master "closet", where the kennel is, I see this:

I have seen a lot of things in my time but I never expected to find Mickey in the dog kennel.  I guess he just appreciates freshly laundered bedding.  Can't say I blame him.  Too funny.  So I went up and took my shower and came back to catch you up.  And now it is going on 7 and I still need to water the back gardens.  I don't mind since I am so pleased with my little garden.  So I had best get on it before it is past my bedtime as it is back to work tomorrow.  I know it sounds like I worked harder today but with only one day off a lot needs to get done.  I am saving the rubbish and kitchen floor for tomorrow as I am too tired now.  So until tomorrow stay blessed, be well and all my love.

It's been a couple days..

But last night I was just too exhausted to write and nothing really new to share.  Not that I have anything new tonight but I feel better when I do.  I am getting better at work, faster anyway, after a conversation with one of my coworkers (my watchdog, but she is helpful so I cut her some slack now) about my speed.  Her numbers versus mine and I said "and how many years have you been at it?  And how many days have I been at it?"  Seriously one cannot expect me to crank out the same volume as someone who has done them for years.  Problem solved.

Although yesterday I was so focused and mostly enjoying the challenge, that I didn't have a solitary thought about anything except what I was focused on.  Today I had other things going through my head but nothing worth sharing at the moment.  I have to ponder them  more for the proper verbage.  But, needles to say, it was much better.  It didn't hurt any that I am now part of the "cool kids" as they call themselves, the ones who are lighthearted and dress mostly in black and jeans, in a more biker than goth fashion, and I admit I enjoy them.

I was so hungry this morning, said it out loud to no one (no one can hear me when I talk anyway so I talk to myself a lot, think out loud as I do, and so on) "MAN I am hungry" as I continued my work.  The Universe heard and responded in kind at first break.  Sarah, my pal from the cool kids, said come on, we're going out to the sunshine for breakfast.  So we walked out to where we all park and were given doughnuts!  I cannot tell you how grateful I was, that glazed raised hit the spot and back to work I was cranking out the work in good time.  Of course by the last hour my eyes were tired and I was having a harder time seeing things, but tomorrow is another day.

The dogs, in case you are wondering, are fine, alllthough now Molly starts that crap every morning and Daisy is afraid to go outside after her so I have to coax her out.  But I keep a big cup of water by the door just in case.  I have to come up with a different solution tomorrow since they are at the other end now and I must walk them through the house to get to the slider in the dining room to get them out now.  And the water hose is on the OTHER side of the barricade.  I may go change that tonight when I finish here.

My garden is doing great and I water everything every night, even if I am not up to it, I'm responsible like that.  I am pretty tuckered, it is almost 6:30 (got home late, had to run an errand for Bev) and I still need to go water everything.  Hopefully I will have more to share tomorrow, more time to anyway, maybe.

My small tomatoe and canteloupe

My other bed, tomatoe, cucumber, squash

My squash, I am so pleased about it!

My cucumbers

Big tomatoe plant

Well, until tomorrow, stay blessed, be well and all my love.

Well now, where do I begin?

Okay, I'll start  with bedtime last night.  Do you have an inkling of what it is like to have to go to bed when the sun is shining AND it is 91 degrees  out?  But I did. Before I did, though, I cranked the ceiling fan on high and that little breeze helped put me out quickly.  It was 68 when I got up at 3:30 nad I only wore 3 swaetshirt hoodies this morning.  It was kind of noce not freezing. 

And before I left, which came too soon, I went and let the dogs out, like I do every morning when I am home alone.  This morning was different in that the minute they got outside 2 of them went after each other like rabid animals with the intent of taking the other down.  I thought it was Daisy and Tony,so I am yelling at both of them,nothing.  I am not abut to stick my hands into this nastiness so I used my foot to try to shove Daisy's rear to get her attention but it just her go more berserk.  They all seem to be afraid of the water hose but since the part that has the water supply is blocked for painting, I ran in the bathroom and grabbed a glass of water, it was the best I could do.  Having thrown it on them, the fight broke up and both were bloodied and I had no time to deal with it.  I go back in the door and the third, who I think is Molly, is in the kennel and won't come out.  Okay then.

Not much I could do about any of it but text the painter and tell him to let Molly out and leave all of them out since so much time in the kennel is making them nuts.  I do not know why, when it is blocked off, he puts them in when he gets here and never leaves them out when he leaves.  I called him at my 1:30 break and asked if they were out and he said yes and I made it clear that he was not to put them in when he arrives, to let them be out were they at least have 50 feet to run and romp and play.  I worried about Tony all day because, although Daisy's ear was all bloody, his was in the under the arm area and was limping.  They both had looked a mess.

The day at work was much better and more fun and I got more done today by being left alone to figure out my own system for speed.  I was humming along fine when yesterdays came back to rework.  I was surprised that they hadn't rejected most of them since everyone says I don't use enough solder, but only 13 had issues to resolve and most of them were from my fingernails leaving little holes in the insulation.  So I took them all off, stripped the wires back and put them back on beautifully.  Done with that, I was right back to my build and was almost done with the first group of 50 when They brought me back 2 of them they thought I had missed.  I said I wasn't sure what exactly I was looking for so I had reflowed the ones that said to reflow them.  Armed with the knowledge of what they wanted, I did that and went back to my build and finished it.

The day went really fast and I was thinking the last couple hours where I wanted to go after work.  I wanted to hit the dollar store for the little note pads and then on the other hand I wanted to swing over to Goodwill to see if this cute little pair of white Gloria Vanderbilt capris were still there.  I did both.  The cute little capris were gone but there was a similar pair of Dockers so I got them for half price and less than 3 bucks.  It is getting warmer and I want to be able to wear something besides my black skinny jeans (they are all black that I have) so that was a nice score.

I got home about 4:45 and as hungry as I was, I went straight out to check on the mutts.  Yes, I am now calling them mutts because of their behavior this morning.  I have never seen anything like it.  Little fur balls fighting like pits in a ring (which I have never witnessed but can imagine) and it honestly creeped me out for the day.  SO I go out and all is calm and it is Molly who is limping.  Part of me is relieved because he is the smallest and Daisy the largest and that is not a fair fight but since Molly was on her back and it was dark, I got it wrong.  She has some good puncture wounds and Dais's ear, though fairly clean now flops backward and I am not touching it to see if there is an issue.  She shook her head and her ears flopped around so I think she was fairly unscathed. Molly was the worse for wear.

In any case, they were happy to see me and calmed really quickly to the loving, normally not so fast, except Daisy, who is chill.  Then I went and scarfed some dinner.  I washed the new Dockers and while writing this I have run back to love on the critters a little more, watered the front flowers and made a phone call. And it is almost 6:30 already.  The 10 hour days are long and leave very little personal time, almost like being back on the ship but better wages without the medical (yet) so I am not complaining.  And at the moment it is down to 87 degrees.  It was 93 earlier.  I still have to tend to my garden and the planters in the back so I will leave you with the other half of the mural I shared yesterday, got it on the way home, so until tomorrow, stay blessed, be well and all my love.

kind of trippy when it is expanded to full version.

Interesting day

So when I got in this morning they said I would get to solder today and I was happy, then they said the previous parts I had been prepping, the leads would have to be bent before I soldered onto them.  Well, okay then.  I did well with my first one but that was before they said I had to bend the leads.  And I had the hardest time getting the angle to solder correctly.  So I was not going fast and it did not help that the person who gave me the stuff to solder kept telling me I was trying too hard to make them perfect.  Not really, I was just trying to make the wires lie flat or else have them comeback to rework them.

Then after the rest of the folks went to the earlier lunch ( solderers have a later lunch) the power went out.  Just as I though I was getting the hang of it and BOOM my rhythm is thrown.  So we went outside to wait for the power to come back on and listened to reports that southern Oregon was out and patches up to Portland.  But about 45 minutes later the power came back and I returned to my task.  Before I knew it, it was time for 11:30 break and once again my rhythm went out the window.  Coming back in from break the fire alarm went off (likely some residual glitch from the power outage) and back outside again.  It was nice out so I was kind of enjoying being out.

Ten minutes later we were back to work and I swear every part I picked up, 2 of the 3 wires would go on like magic and then I would think I have this now, when the universe would say don't get cocky and mess me up.  I do not know why I just couldn't get the hang of it and I only finished 1 kit of 50 for the day although it took me less time for the second half of them than the first half.. I left work totally drained but the time went fast and I am hoping  for a  smoother day tomorrow.  Coming back after the fire drill, my overseer for the day, I guess, mentioned my timing again and was worried if I didn't speed up they would let me go.  I asked if they told her to ride my  butt all day because it was not doing anything to help but making me anxious. She left me alone after that.

And once I was free to focus I hummed alng until the last one, which gave me fits.  Damn solder peaks.  I don't think we are building life saving devices (but I do not know) and if we were then I would think they would want them done right.  Not just fast.  I totally understand why people leave and don't return.  It is a difficult environment with the pressure.  I have barely been there 2 weeks and they have only let me solder maybe one full day in that time so I need a little practice on these parts.

Not sure if I posted this mural before but I got a great shot of it on the way home today.  And since it is going on 6 and I am toast, I will end here for now, so until tomorrow..

Stay blessed, be well and all my love.

Thoughtful and good Monday

So much going on in my thoughts today and I am going to buy a little note pad that I can jot things down in and hope they don't ave an issue with it at work.  It isn't like they really watch me or anything but they do talk about me so my name is known.  I guess that is something.  Part of what I hung up on for the morning is how paradoxical life is.  I firmly believe that we create our own reality with our thoughts and this is true, and yet, we have no control over the fate of it.  Because our thoughts are the only thing we can control so we can think things into being, but at the same time, since nothing else is in our control, aren't we just reacting to other peoples' reality?  Because they create, too, whether they know it or not, and that creates circumstances in our environment that we must deal with.  So the best we can do is to put out positive thoughts, or energy, same thing, and plan for the best. 

Someone once said plan for the best, prepare for the worst, life's a play and we're unrehearsed.  True enough.  Not that there was anything bad going on today, just kind of monotonousness that I have been doing the same thing for days and need a bit more stimulation, like soldering.  Even if it is the same parts many times over, I never tire of soldering.  Should happen soon.  At the end of the day I was washing my hands and this lady said she had heard amazing things about me being a great solderer and I said I am an amazing solderer and if they don't let me do some soon I will look for a different job.  She said, no, no, don't go anywhere, I will be pushing for you to move on to soldering and getting you certified because we need your skills here.  She said her inspectors rave about me so that made me happy.

I did get to solder for a minute this morning when this young man came asking for the sleeves to the fans and nobody knew but me where the parts were.  So I was getting him some and he asked for a wire since the one in his hand was damaged and so I gave him one and asked if he was repairing it.  He said no, he doesn't solder, so I took the old sleeve off, saw it was my soldering and told him it was.  He asked how I could tell so I showed him under the scope and said no one else does them like me.  So I took the wires apart and put the new one on for him and he went his merry way.  It was a happy soldering minute before going back to the prepping of the little parts I am prepping.

The weather is nice today and it didn't hurt that when I was coming in from the 11:30 break the fire alarm was sounding and I was told to leave the building so I got a few more minutes of sun time.  By the end of the day I was down to 3 layers and that is the first time that has happened at work.  When I got to the truck I took off one more layer because I knew it would be toasty at home.  It was.

A lot of the ladies there are older ladies and want to retire and one said without it killing her.  I said everyone needs a purpose, a reason to get out of bed in the morning and so many don't when they retire they die before their time.  I have always said, too, that it is good to have a goal and the reason is it gives you a purpose, something to move towards or to obtain.

Another part of my thoughts were making a shopping list for Wednesday when I get paid.  I have to replace the stuff I use here, only fair, and I need to replace the stuff I have eaten and then buy some of my own favorite things.  I even said, out loud, as this list was going though my head, ICE CREAM.  No one can here me anyway so nobody even glanced my way.  And I was thinking about my list from Sundays blog about all the stuff I have been through and mentally adding pneumonia, encephalitis, anorexia, mononucleosis, chicken pox as an adult (that was miserable!) and on the plus side I have taken 3 cruises with people I care about, cruised as a job for almost 8 months, ziplined, river rafted, para sailed and lived, loved and laughed with abandon.  The last was brought on by this tin flower that hangs by the little door to enter the big garage:

I just love the dark purple ones

And these variegated ones, too.

Since they are painting the deck where the dogs normally are, the first thing I did when I got home was to see where they were.  They were in the house in the kennel so I let them out, watered and played with them a  few minutes and then attacked some dinner.  I was starving.  Now I am too full but a good full, better than empty.  Now it is almost 5:30 and I am sleepy already.  Woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep so I was up before 3 and now the sun is making me want to climb in bed and sleep for a week.  It won't happen, ever, but if I went to bed now I would have no problem getting to sleep.  Plus, these 10 hour days and 58 hour weeks are starting to kick my okole and I am only on the second week.  Lord have mercy!  So until tomorrow..

Stay blessed, be well and all my love

Kept busy today

Since it is my only day off I had to do all the things I don't have time or energy for the rest of the week so I didn't really get any writing done except for jotting down alot of the things I have been through in my life.  And this is what I have so far:

On the one hand

Physical abuse
Emotional abuse
Mental abuse
Rape
Cancer twice before I was 30
One live birth
Several miscarriages
Radical hysterectomy in my 20's
Head on collision where I lost my teeth and any previous memory except for my son, also in my 20's
Auto accidents every 10 years, all the years ending in 6, none my fault
A first husband who tried to kill me and set my dog on fire
The loss of my second husband and the light of my life
Emergency surgeries for tonsils and adenoids (I was young so not sure it was urgent), appendix, gall bladder, hysterectomy and scars to prove it
The deaths of my grandparents, aunts and uncles, parents and close friends, too numerous to count
Broken most of the vertebrae in my lumbar and thoracic spine, shattered every bone in my left wrist and dislocated my right elbow
Arthritis


On the other hand

Having the love of my life for the time that I did
One dear son
An adored adopted daughter
8 grandchildren
3 great grandchildren
16 years in Hawaii
Have lived in Colorado, California, Washing state, Hawaii and now Oregon
Been to many of the states including Alaska
Siblings I would be lost without, natural, step and adopted
Interesting and varied job history, good at all of them
I can see, hear, taste, smell and touch with no effort

And while I see how long the list of the less perfect parts of my life is in comparison to the blessings side, I am truly blessed to have come through it all as positive as I am.  I look at it all as blessings because it could have been far far worse than it has been and I know that.  It shows how strong the human spirit is I think.

Today was spent doing laundry and on the second load the dryer wouldn't turn on so I hung it all out on the deck railings where it dried pretty quick with the breeze.  I watered everything, inside of the house and out, cooked up my meals for the week then started the dishwasher.  When my laundry was dry, I put my clean sheets back on the bed and put everything else away.  Put a few gallons of gas from the 5 gallon gas can into the truck, via a 2 gallon gas can and a couple of trips back and forth from the big garage to the truck.  Played numerous times with all the critters and put out fresh food and water for them, cleaned the litter box and still need to do the poop patrol for the dogs stuff.  Oh, and I made this chime:

Blues and purples with one big green one in the center

Molly, on the right, kept licking the glass

They were wanting me to let them in or come out but I was with the cat

I have yet to get it listed but the internet is going in and out with the breeze and it isn't like I am in a hurry to fight with the Etsy app to get it up there.  Pretty though.  I felt like I was busy all day and I even slept in until 4:42 before I got up.  I did wake up at 3:12 and said nah, I need more sleep before turning over and doing just that.  I have been listening to Fathers Day jokes (not all about fathers, just mostly men telling them) on Pandora all day and laughing so hard I darn near choked on my coffee earlier.

It is already almost 5:30 and a couple hours until bed time and I am bushed. I meant to tell you yesterday and forgot, not that it was or is important, just amusing.  I was doing my work and I kept washing the magnifying lens on my light and still was having a hard time until it dawned on me that maybe my glasses were dirty (they were) and I just started laughing at myself so hard that the lead asked what was so funny and I told her.  She kind of giggled and said at least I laugh at myself and I said all the time.

That's it for me for today and I'll get back to page 6 tomorrow, stretch it out a little since I didn't write another 8 pages, or any today, so until then....

Stay blessed, be well and all my love.

Sometimes

Sometimes it is a strange experience being inside my head and the thoughts that go through it. Sometimes you just have to cock your head like your dog does when they are wondering what in the heck is going on in your head when you talk to them.  Sometimes I just go off on rants that Dennis Miller would be proud of in my head.  And then I cock it to the side like a dog.  In a way it really saddens me that Americans are dumbing down and don't even have to think for themselves.  Because there are apps for that apparently.

me cocking my head and not because of the sun

What started the rant in my head earlier rat work was being from Hawaii and everyone you say it to says the exact same thing "oh, you got out just in time!' and it just irks me that people can be that ignorant about the 50th state.  The fact that they don't even think about it as being islands, as in multiple, in fact there are over 130 islands in the chain stretching 1,500 miles away, just baffles me.  Just because the most active volcano in the world is busy doing its volcano thing does not mean that any other island is in danger or being threatened.  It's bad enough that people don't think but that they don't even care to do any research about the culture, and it has its own culture as well as customs and yet millions of them flock there because it is beautiful and WARM, without any consideration of where they are really visiting.  Let alone do they see the way the local people live because they are so busy doing tours and could probably care less about the people whose lives they affect while they are there.  Forget learning any of the language, they can't be bothered with that either.  That was the other thing.  I have a water bottle that I brought from Hawaii and refill it all the time (which is probably not healthy with the plastic degradation but there you go) and it is the brand Aloha Wai, which in Hawaiian wai means water, the source of life.  We are only allowed to have clear bottles at our stations or if colored they have to be marked water and must contain water.  Plus, it does say Hawaiian water on it as well.  And it being a pretty pale aqua color I did not write water on it in big letters and it was questioned.  HELLO!  Can you even read?  Yes, I am fond of my islands and I do think of them as mine having lived, worked and played there for 16 years. And I was ready to trade my kingdom (as if I have one) for a musubi or malasada because I was starving.

Take a breath Chrissy ;-)  Okay then, I guess I was schooling you on the islands so that you, too, do not appear ignorant when you speak of Hawaii, in case you were unaware.  And no offense was intended if you already knew, but if you did, you already feel my frustration, don't you?  Granted these people work 60 hours a week and probably watch tv afterward so I should consider the sources but it hasn't just been at work. So I break it down to people who say such silly things.  Even before I moved here to Grants Pass I was doing the research to learn all about it because I want to know, really KNOW about the places I go to.  Don't get me wrong, I really like the people, I just wish it mattered to them what they say when they talk about places.
Heck they could even use the most useful app there is--GOOGLE--to investigate the world they live in, leaving politics aside, of course.

I am not angry, just sad about it all.  Not very uplifting so far, yeah?  Well, if it makes you stop ad thing then I have done some good.  And I am all about doing good.  For example, going to lunch, someone had put money in the snack machine and her little bag was just hanging their and she asked another lady to help her jiggle it (the machine) so the snack would fall but the machine wouldn't tip over on her (yeah, that's not gonna happen, honey, but bless your heart) and I walked over, looked and gave it a bump with my butt and her snack fell and everyone was impressed.  See?  Something so simple (for an engineer brain) was so complex for mortal souls, LOL.  Yeah, I'm that good ad said it then, too.  They agreed.

On to to other things now:

This is Mickey taking up at least half (cross ways) of a 6 X 12 rug

The only hydrangea bush that is flowering now

They look like cones until they bloom

Full when they bloom

I went and loved on the dogs, watered the garden and feel better now.  Maybe not better but less concerned with the worlds intelligence at the moment :-)  I really need to make a chime or something fun.  Besides the day to day that my life has become, work, come home, eat, love the animals, tend the gardens, shower and sleep again.  I may start one tonight and not wait until tomorrow.  it's like a meditation time for me.  And it creates something beautiful, too.  I am really blessed, I know I am really blessed and through the craziness that has been my life, I have always been so.  Perhaps that is why people have always told me one of 3 things:

1) You always come up smelling like a rose (no sure that is the best smell, but okay)

2) you always come up with a feather in your cap (well, yeah, I look for the feathers) and the third thing has nothing o do with the previous two, or so it would seem, but in fact it has everything to do with the aforementioned statements and that is

3) You have the most beautiful eyes.  And if they are indeed the window to the soul then that is the highest compliment of all and proof that my soul has earned me the privilege of the other 2 facts.  If that makes sense.  It does to me, but then I am easily amused and entertained and prone to laughing out loud at myself.

And now page 5

The neighbor guy from Heddy's?  He stayed in our lives and when I was 6 we moved to California after my mom married him, or so I thought, he was always Dad. It was only recently that I was told that they didn't get married until I was out of high school and having my first child.  We always called him dad and for me, he was the only one I had ever known existed,  He had a dog named Buster.  I loved that dog like I loved him.  We lived in a small apartment complex in Redwood City on Buckeye St. for the first couple of years.  The apartments were upstairs, and below them was the parking spaces in a carport kind of set up.  I have strange memories of living there.  There were no girls me age and the only other girl there was maybe 2 but I did enjoy playing with her in her home.  Her name was Robin and her mother and father were Linda and Cory.  My parents would remain friends with them for a number of years.

But the kids my age were all boys and so I was a bit of a tom boy.  I had the tiniest girl crush on Billy Alldredge, the boy who lived across the street.  I didn't have a bike like the boys and so I would chase them around.  Billy had a Stingray bike with a banana seat and one day I grabbed onto the bar on the back of it and wound up in the gravel of our driveway.  I remember dad taking me into the bathroom to clean up my knee and pick the dirt and gravel out telling me "Doc shits will take good care of this". That is what he called himself when I had injuries that he had to fix.  I think back to that now and smile with such affection.

There was a clothesline in the carport and one day I was out there with the boys and I don't have a clue where it came from but there was a little rabbit.  They thought it would be funny to hang it by its tail from that line.  I stood there, screaming in horror at this scared, kicking little rabbit for them to stop it.  They laughed hysterically.  I am not sure if it was the rabbit or my reaction, but they thought it was so funny.  My heart was hurt.  How can you laugh at the pain of another living thing?

But then I witnessed my mom laugh the same way one day and it made me cry.  It was raining out and the stairs were wooden so they were slippery when they were wet.  Dad was leaving for work on morning and slipped and landed at the bottom.  Mom stood at the top laughing like it was the funniest thing she had ever seen.  Even at that tender young age I knew it was wrong to laugh at the misfortune of another living thing.  I just didn't get what was so funny.  He could have been hurt!  Okay, he wasn't, but she didn't know that when he went down.  And yet I found Laurel and Hardy , the Marx brothers and Oliver and Hardy hilarious on tv.  Somehow I knew they were not really hurting each other.  Perceptive little soul.

Well kids, that is it for me for tonight, it is almost 5:30 already.  I need to get up and move around for awhile so until tomorrow...

Stay blessed, be well and all my love.

What a glorious ay :-D

It was a tad frustrating first thing in the morning because I still have trouble feeling my fingers for awhile but then once the feeling was back I was cruising right along.  Until they stopped me and put me on some "real soldering" as they said.  I was lap soldering wires after tinning them and every time I got on a roll, I thought, the second wire (there were 2 on each item) would mess up.  So I did the Chrissy logical thing and just did the first wires and then went back and flipped everything over and did the second wires.  Then I went to watch someone else doing them to see how they did them so fast and had my aha! moment and then buzzed through a whole box of 36, pleased with myself. I would have to have the first one from each box inspected by my supervisor who kept telling me they needed more solder.  Which, on my first box made me paranoid about getting the amount they wanted and took so long.  But by the last 8 or so I decided to do it the way I had been trained to do class 3 work and ignored the solder comments.

I was working on the second box when one of the other leads came through asking who Chris was and my boss said right here in front of you.  He was looking for something I never had but I saw the box I had done and not one word was said about it.  I have seen the inspectors bring work back to everyone and show them what needs reworked and I was honestly expecting them to come back to me but no, they did not.  My boss is yelling at the top of his lungs that he is going to make me stand up in the next weekly meeting and introduce me because I have apparently become very important around here.  One of my coworkers said he was jealous and upset that someone was more important than him, I laughed.  Then I hollered back to my boss that I always was and he was just figuring it out. Everybody got a chuckle out of my quick comeback, myself included.

The rest of the day went very fast and as I was going to my locker there was a lady sitting at one of the lunchroom tables and asked if I was Chris.  I said yes, big old smile on my face and she said she was seeing my work and loving it.  She said to keep sending my work the way I do it and that the lead in her department was going to love me for not putting on more solder than is necessary or required.  I said I had been building only class 3 for years and if the inspectors came back to me I would be happy to grab the IPC book and show them what a "target" solder looked like and mine were abut as perfect as is possible.  She agreed and it made me feel good that they love to see my work and HAVE to pass all the others with the abundance of solder on them.  Talk about being validated when I was not even looking for validation!

Even before that, way early this morning I overheard one of my coworkers saying she was ready for some of the more intricate work because she does better at it than the "simple" stuff that always comes back for rework.  I couldn't help myself and I said "that is because you are an amazing person Charlotte and need to do amazing work" to which she said loud enough for everyone to hear "See, that's what we need, Chris, who is so encouraging and motivational and positive and we are going to be blessed today and have a great day".  Now THAT made me feel good and put me in the frame of mind that I am just what they need and can do some good works amongst the people there.  They really are good hearted folks one on one and very helpful but not always the most positive spirited people.  Like me a couple days ago.  Bad day that was.  But it has improved immensely.  For me, it is because I write everyday and when I don't, well, it isn't pretty, LOL.

Here's some pictures just because:

The beast I am driving ^

View from the garage ^

One of Bevs' flowers ^

I got home, played with the dogs, had the other half of my squash and got on here so I still need to go give the cat some attention but here is page 4:

When I was maybe 5 years old I realized how much I loved spending time at my granny's house.  The smell of coffee in the air and on her breathe and though I would not fully appreciate the flavor of it for many years, I still loved that smell.  Granny loved Polka music and often could be heard humming along with it as it played on the radio.  She would also lay me on the kitchen counter, towel rolled under my neck, with my head in the sink to wash my hair.  She showed such love and tenderness and would sing gospel songs as she gently massaged my scalp.  I could have stayed there in those moments forever.

Granny also loved birds so there were bird feeders in the trees in the yard and she had an affinity for flowers and river rocks.  She had a collection of beautiful rocks, big rocks not little stones, that she had brought home from probably every trip to the mountains she had taken.  These lined what was her flower beds all the way around her yard.  I thoroughly enjoyed spending time in that yard and enjoying the beauty of nature she had put together.  It was like a spilling out of her soul, beauty carried out beyond her physical body.

Many weekends I spent with her and I slept on the "sofa" as she called it, after having watched The Lawrence Welk Show and Hee Haw on Saturday nights.  There was a grandfather clock and it ticked really loud.  Some nights I would just lay there and listen to it ticking for the longest time before falling asleep.  Her home was my sanctuary and she was my savior many times.  She conveyed to me through her actions that I was loved, without condition, just for being me, something I never truly felt at home.

I believe it was that same year that both me and my brother were in the hospital, to get our tonsils out.  I don't know why.  But I do know that when we were back in our room, our little throats on fire from the surgery, we wanted something cold and the nurses said no.  Until mom showed up and insisted that they give us ice cream to soother the burn.  Then grandpa came in and brought us flowers from granny's garden.  How sweet is that?  Her love extended to our room and I got the message.

End of page 4

Well dearies, it is going on 6 and my bedtime comes early (7:30 AND Bev got home shortly after that last night so I did get to bed at 8 but what a fantastic day anyway!) because we have to go back and work again tomorrow, but only 8 hours.  Golly that sounds bizarre--ONLY 8 hours.  Anyway, until tomorrow........

Be blessed, be well and all my love.

A much better day.

It helped that I was not nearly as sick as I had been feeling all week and I enjoyed what I worked on today.  Mostly.  I had to tin 1,000 wires which took longer than I thought it would but it was not too bad.  I was certainly ready to be done after 950 but I trudged on and finished them all, they needed them and I am a team player.  And people pretty much left me alone so that was a plus.  I am spoiled, I admit it.  You can take the girl out of Hawaii but you cannot take Hawaii out of the girl.  I had forgotten what it was like to work on the mainland in companies with a lot of people who like to talk about everything and everyone that is not all that important. 

Weird thing about these mainlanders, too, they are quick to assume the worst.  Strange thing this morning, my foot fell asleep and I was trying to make it to the bathroom so I was dragging it and some guy said to me "I didn't see that", like I had done something wrong.  I thought about it while I was in the bathroom and when I passed him on my way back I said my foot was asleep and I was not making fun of anyone.  And I added that it was irritating because now I knew it would be awake all night without me.  He was amused and I said that if people listened to the way they talked to other people I wonder if they would want to be friends with them(selves).  He said he had never thought of it that way and I left him pondering that and what he says to people.  Mission accomplished I guess, message received.

Here are some nice pictures for you today:

Another thing that made me feel better (out of left field, I know) today was that I took the time to write last night.  It always makes me feel better and more centered and grounded.  It is like breathing, I need to do it. I really wish I could jot down my ideas when they hit me at work but then I would hear about it I am sure.  By the time I get home, all the best ones are in the fog somewhere.  Life is full of mysteries and where my  thoughts disappear to is one of them for me.

Okay, page 3:

I can remember back as far as being maybe 3 or 4 years old and we did move a few times before I was six.  I do remember living in a motel kind of place, today you would call them "studio apts" but it was a place called Heddy's and there was a restaurant in front of it that faced Eisenhower street near what was formerly called Lincoln Ave back in the day, before it became US 287.  I remember the man that lived next door and how my mom would always make us be quiet when he got home, like pretending we were not home.  Apparently she was not all that fond of him.  But she told me that he was there for my 2nd birthday and she had fried a chicken that turned out to be a roasting hen and it was so tough we couldn't eat it.  So he took us out to dinner.

I know that the kitchen window of Heddys faced back to our room and it was made of blue depression era type glass.  I also recall a rock flying through it and although I cannot say for certain how that happened, I got in big trouble over it.  It would be the pattern (and bane of my existence) of my childhood to get in trouble for everything bad that happened.

Our next move took us to E. 7th street in a fairly big house with a huge yard.  My uncle Ray used to come over and entertain us, he being my mom's youngest sibling and perhaps 10 years older than us kids.  We had 3 puppy's, Bimbo, Blackie and Whitey and I am pretty certain that Bimbo was Ray's puppy.  We always called Ray uncle Breck, given their last name was Breckenridge and it suited him.

I believe my brother Jim was sick in bed one day and mom sent me out to get the mail.  Jim's puppy, Blackie, followed me and I don't know why it went in the street but I do know that a car came by and hit him.  Lord I felt horrible about it and rather than be thankful I was safe and not the one hit, my mom beat me near senseless for that offense.  I was maybe 4 or 5, what did she want from me anyway?  It was as if I had killed my brothers puppy on purpose and not the accident it truly was.  That was the last time I was ever allowed to "own" an animal of my own as long as I lived with mom.  I don't know what became of Whitey and I don't remember him growing up with me but he would not be the last animal that would go away when I wasn't home.

One day my brother Jim and I were running around the back yard and a rake that was leaning against the house fell and hit him in the forehead.  I am not talking about a lightweight leaf rake, I mean the heavy kind with wide steel tines.  Yeah, I took a whooping for that, too.  I still don't know why it was my fault, I didn't hit him with it.  But if he had blood, I was to blame and had to take the licking.

End of page 3

Well kids, that is it for me tonight, I am ready to shower and get my jammies on and see if I can wait for Bev so until tomorrow...

Be blessed, be well and all my love.