It's been awhile...,..
In my humble opinion, pain serves a purpose. As I have aged it is more present physically and I am grateful for it. It is a reminder to slow down, to take care of myself, to go inward, connect with my spirit, my source, where I am and will always be eternally invincible.
When you think about it, you have to admit that we think of ourselves as invincible physically when we are young and only when we are much older come to the realization that we are indeed invincible in spirit. Yes, our bodies will die but we chose to come into a physical body for the human experience and still we remain Spirit in our nature, at our core.
Yes, today I am in the fourth day of serious back pain and yet I am still grateful for it. Though I am not afraid of death, having been there clinically a few times, I came to live, really live and I have. The pain reminds me that I am still very much alive in a human body, not six feet under or reduced to ash so it is a positive thing, no matter how hard it is to move or do anything much at all. It is noon here and the only thing I have accomplished today is making my bed and brushing my hair. I realize for many people that is a great accomplishment, to een be able to do that much.
We, as humans, tend to think we have limitations and I have always said if you argue for them then they are yours and you have to live with them. Hope springs eternal and I'd like to believe that I can heal myself in more than a mind over matter way, as in if you don't mind it won't matter, and because I not only believe in miracles, I heavily rely on them, I tell myself that this too shall pass. I know it will.
I also realize that I do have physical limitations that I cannot overcome in physical form and I do have to live with them. I cannot control my height, my weight or the damage to my bones. I am a tiny person and so I just have to be mindful of what I can do physically to best protect myself from further injury or pain or disability. It's not easy when one has been so independent most of their life. But I'm learning.
Oddly enough, I have been in pain for many years and only when it takes my breath away do I get a full sense of what terrible pain we can endure. When you live with pain on a daily basis you get use to it when you know that there is nothing you can do about it because you have tried everything. I am great with my own company but when there are things that I want or need to get done, I find it harder to just be still and relax.
Sunday, December 9, 2018
Monday, October 8, 2018
Pictures that wouldn't load yesterday....
Not much to say today but I did want to see if yesterdays photos would load. Maybe tomorrow I will add story to it or just more pictures, I am not sure at this moment in time. But these were all from yesaterday, mostly the arts on the Rogue I was telling you about. It is hard to see them all well but they were colorful and pretty.
I bought this stunning canvas this weekend and the picture does not do it justice at all but I found it beautiful:
Small squares for the kids:
The tree flipping the bird, in fall color:
Sunday, October 7, 2018
It has been awhile
And I have had no time to just sit and write, to keep you caught up. We have worked 10 hour days M-F and most Saturdays, some Sundays, for so long even my garden misses me. And yes, it is still producing! Even with the cold temps, it just keeps going. Granted, it doesn't look as green and pretty as it did all summer but there are still a boatload of tomatoes on both plants, a few cucumbers and squash as well and I haven't yet checked to see how the potatoes are doing under all those mounds of dirt and straw.
I have taken quite a few pictures since I last shared and given the hour I may well just post them instead of my usually long diatribe. Today started out cold and creepy: and the pictures won't load right now, dang wifi. It was very London like, foggy as all get out, you couldn't see very far and I could see my breath.
It did warm up a bit later as I went off to Home Depot to get one of those hooks that you can take off without doing damage to the wall and some little eye hooks to make a chime, which I never got around to today. I found this amazing painting at Goodwill yesterday for 5 bucks and I just loved it and want to look at her alot so I did hang it in my room when I got home.
Coming back through town I saw they were still doing the "Art on the Rogue" and had a few blocks that were closed as all these artists were on the ground making the most lovely artwork with chalk. I took a lot of pictures there as well and when I am able to post them I will, it was interesting and awe inspiring really.
We have had the past couple of Saturdays off, working the Sundays put us over the limit on the hours they can "make" us work, so I have been over to the coast a couple of times, the last time was last weekend and yesterday I went over the hill in the other direction to seven Feathers casino for the day. I was down about 80 dollars when I hit one jackpot for 238 and another for 73 so I took myself to lunch at the buffet, which was only 5 bucks with my club card and a dining credit I got from the kiosk when I had arrived. Had a wonderful breakfast really as I chose the scrambled eggs, hash browns and sausage links and I even had some chow fat (Chinese) because it looked good. It was.
I played for another hour before leaving, still had my jackpots money on me, and came back, did a little shopping and took the truck in for a transmission flush since they had told me the day before it was bad. I had gone in Friday after work to get an oil change, which they did, but they found all this stuff wrong so I got brake lights, cargo lights, air filter, the oil change with some flush thing they do and an oil treatment added and I was told that it needs about four other things done to it and I said later since the 130 bucks Friday was out of my pocket. But since I had won, I went and spent another 130 for the transmission flush and refill because I don't want to end up stranded as I was a few weeks ago when the battery went dead and I had to get a new one of those. I really had no intention of spending a chunk of money on his truck to use it but I need it to run to use it. And now there is a short in the wiring in the dashboard so only half of it (the vital half granted does work) doesn't work. Great.
I am really not enjoying the cold at all and I am ready to head back to my island. I give myself a month before I tuck tail and run back to warmth and fewer clothes. I am constantly made fun of for all the layers I wear everyday and my big pea coat and I am tired of that, too. They can say they are kidding all they want but when you say I am only kidding the words were already past your brain and out of your mouth and you meant what you said. I think it is ugly to make fun of anybody for any reason and the ignorance is astounding here.
I still enjoy the work mostly and I tune everyone out and just do my solder thing but I still have to listen to the crap every morning when I arrive. I am not really digging the getting up at 3:30 in the dark of morning either. Heck, when we go to first break at 7 it is still not light out. Yes, I enjoyed it being lighter later during the summer but the opposite is not as lovely.
It is nearly 6 so I should wrap this up for tonight since I still have to clean the kitchen and put my dinners away before I get ready for bed. But I will try to get back in tomorrow since Bev is gone for the next week, in Hawaii, so I can relax a bit while she is gone.
I have taken quite a few pictures since I last shared and given the hour I may well just post them instead of my usually long diatribe. Today started out cold and creepy: and the pictures won't load right now, dang wifi. It was very London like, foggy as all get out, you couldn't see very far and I could see my breath.
It did warm up a bit later as I went off to Home Depot to get one of those hooks that you can take off without doing damage to the wall and some little eye hooks to make a chime, which I never got around to today. I found this amazing painting at Goodwill yesterday for 5 bucks and I just loved it and want to look at her alot so I did hang it in my room when I got home.
Coming back through town I saw they were still doing the "Art on the Rogue" and had a few blocks that were closed as all these artists were on the ground making the most lovely artwork with chalk. I took a lot of pictures there as well and when I am able to post them I will, it was interesting and awe inspiring really.
We have had the past couple of Saturdays off, working the Sundays put us over the limit on the hours they can "make" us work, so I have been over to the coast a couple of times, the last time was last weekend and yesterday I went over the hill in the other direction to seven Feathers casino for the day. I was down about 80 dollars when I hit one jackpot for 238 and another for 73 so I took myself to lunch at the buffet, which was only 5 bucks with my club card and a dining credit I got from the kiosk when I had arrived. Had a wonderful breakfast really as I chose the scrambled eggs, hash browns and sausage links and I even had some chow fat (Chinese) because it looked good. It was.
I played for another hour before leaving, still had my jackpots money on me, and came back, did a little shopping and took the truck in for a transmission flush since they had told me the day before it was bad. I had gone in Friday after work to get an oil change, which they did, but they found all this stuff wrong so I got brake lights, cargo lights, air filter, the oil change with some flush thing they do and an oil treatment added and I was told that it needs about four other things done to it and I said later since the 130 bucks Friday was out of my pocket. But since I had won, I went and spent another 130 for the transmission flush and refill because I don't want to end up stranded as I was a few weeks ago when the battery went dead and I had to get a new one of those. I really had no intention of spending a chunk of money on his truck to use it but I need it to run to use it. And now there is a short in the wiring in the dashboard so only half of it (the vital half granted does work) doesn't work. Great.
I am really not enjoying the cold at all and I am ready to head back to my island. I give myself a month before I tuck tail and run back to warmth and fewer clothes. I am constantly made fun of for all the layers I wear everyday and my big pea coat and I am tired of that, too. They can say they are kidding all they want but when you say I am only kidding the words were already past your brain and out of your mouth and you meant what you said. I think it is ugly to make fun of anybody for any reason and the ignorance is astounding here.
I still enjoy the work mostly and I tune everyone out and just do my solder thing but I still have to listen to the crap every morning when I arrive. I am not really digging the getting up at 3:30 in the dark of morning either. Heck, when we go to first break at 7 it is still not light out. Yes, I enjoyed it being lighter later during the summer but the opposite is not as lovely.
It is nearly 6 so I should wrap this up for tonight since I still have to clean the kitchen and put my dinners away before I get ready for bed. But I will try to get back in tomorrow since Bev is gone for the next week, in Hawaii, so I can relax a bit while she is gone.
Monday, September 3, 2018
It has been awhile
And as much as I enjoy writing, I was busy enough that it only mildly irritated me that I could not. No internet. I thought I would be able to when I went up to Washington (State)last weekend for my granddaughters' wedding but the internet at the hotel was as bad as the one at home on a decent wifi day--not good at all. But I enjoyed every minute of my trip anyway, I'm good like that.
Things have gotten better all the way around, work is okay and I got "regular" employee status on Friday, early to my surprise, but my supervisor wanted to make sure I got paid for the holiday today so that was awesome. He has warmed up to me :-) It is hard not to in my humble opinion, some people just take longer than others. Still never a kind compliment from Bev but she did finally open her present last week. She seemed to enjoy most of it in her way. Whatever, I was over it weeks ago. She and Rich went away for the weekend and I was kind of glad about that since I have been fighting some bug for a week and just anted to take it easy and rest. Which I have AND also I went out to play and had a really wonderful day Saturday.
It's gone so fast it is hard to back up and start from where I left off but the past couple of weekends have been so restorative on all levels so today I am feeling pretty good. It didn't hurt that I bought and used my new netti pot last night so I got a really good night sleep. My sinuses have been draining since the smoke cleared (everyone has been saying the same thing, runny nose, sneezing, sore throat) and it might be that we are now able to inhale the pollen that was smoke particles before. Either way it was not pleasant coughing all night from post nasal drip and blowing my nose all day so that it was sore. The netti pot cleared most of it out and I was able to breathe without dripping and with my mouth closed so I wasn't having to drink water all night for the dry mouth.
I drove up lat Thursday (8-23) to attend my granddaughters' wedding and it was a pleasant enough drive up until I hit Portland and wondered if the traffic was always that bad. I made it through just fine but by the time I got to the hotel at 5 I was tired and starving and just wanted a meal and a bath then bed. Which I did. The next morning I was up early as always so I headed to the casino nearby, about a 10 minute drive away and did very well. But then I had to go back to the hotel to get ready for the wedding, it was scheduled for Friday late afternoon (between 4:30 and 5) and I was the first to get there and got to spend a little time with Sis (the granddaughter getting married) and meet the parents and groom, who I enjoyed (them all) very mush. Totally fell in love with the mom, she is so like me and we just had an instant connection. More on Eva later.
From the wedding:
I got to see my other grand kids (Kiyah and Brea) and meet all the great grand babies as well as meeting their aunties from their moms side of the famile. I had heard so much about them over the years and it was nice to finally connect. The wedding was simple and in the backyard of the parents' home and the food was homemade and wonderful. Since the wedding didn't start until 6 after all and after eating and hearing the toasts I was going to head out (I was tired and had a full day planned with the grand kids the next morning) and when I got to the front of the house and started chatting with Eva and hung out there for another hour. Someone brought Luna (Sis and hubby's baby--they were already married but never had a ceremony for the family) out and I held and loved on her for awhile while chatting with Eva. I finally left around 8 so I could get back before dark since I was in new territory and out in the middle of nowhere and I made it back safely and had a hot bath before bed.
Saturday I woke up early, as usual, and figured I could get a little more casino time in since the kids wouldn't be picking me up until 8. So I was at the casino by 5:30 and had another GREAT time there, they were more than kind to me, but it helped that I was just in alignment with what I was wanting and intending. I had set my alarm for 7:30 to head back to the hotel to be ready for the kids and I was, at that time, winning on the houses money but I had to go. By 8:25 there were no kids and no word from any of them so I called Sis and left a message then texted her and waited for a reply. Eva texted and so I called her and we chatted for a bit and with no word from anyone else I decided to take off and play by myself.
So I went shopping, buying 16 new CD's to have tunes on the way home and a few other things that delighted me and having left my phone in the truck never did get the message that finally came. They were wanting to change the time and the younger 2 had cancelled but i turned out that when I didn't get back to Sis, she and her hubby and kids took off to hang with her aunt who said I probably got mad and went home. How stupid is that conclusion? Rather negative I think but then I don't really care what they think of me so I just considered the source. I finally connected on the phone with Sis and said first of all I don't get mad, I just move on and with the bad communication it was just a missed opportunity but I went off to play and not waste the day sitting around waiting to hear something.
Heading back from shopping I called Eva and said I had not heard from the kids and she told me they went to her aunts to use the pool. So I asked if she wanted to go to the casino with me for awhile. And that is what we did. I really enjoy her company and her energy and we had a nice time though neither of us won anything that evening. The object was to have fun so in that we we both won but we didn't take the casino's money home which was okay for me, they had been really generous with me and I was set for awhile and was taking some of it home as it was.
This weekend, since we have a 3 day weekend I decided it was time to do some exploring so I had the intention of going to the coast on Saturday morning and over to Seven Feathers on Sunday and doing some reading and writing today. I accomplished all f it but Friday night, after battling a bug all week I suddenly got the chills and felt light headed. I headed for bed and hoped to feel better Saturday, which I did a bit so I took off for a leisurely drive over to the coast. I had the best day ever, although I did start feeling crappy again around 5 pm and headed home. But while I was over there I meandered through their cute shops and hit he beach and collected some driftwood which I am going to make a chime from, like a bamboo chime but driftwood instead of bamboo. I was walking along the beach and hitting different pieces of wood against each other and enjoyed the sound. I saw so much beauty that day:
Things have gotten better all the way around, work is okay and I got "regular" employee status on Friday, early to my surprise, but my supervisor wanted to make sure I got paid for the holiday today so that was awesome. He has warmed up to me :-) It is hard not to in my humble opinion, some people just take longer than others. Still never a kind compliment from Bev but she did finally open her present last week. She seemed to enjoy most of it in her way. Whatever, I was over it weeks ago. She and Rich went away for the weekend and I was kind of glad about that since I have been fighting some bug for a week and just anted to take it easy and rest. Which I have AND also I went out to play and had a really wonderful day Saturday.
It's gone so fast it is hard to back up and start from where I left off but the past couple of weekends have been so restorative on all levels so today I am feeling pretty good. It didn't hurt that I bought and used my new netti pot last night so I got a really good night sleep. My sinuses have been draining since the smoke cleared (everyone has been saying the same thing, runny nose, sneezing, sore throat) and it might be that we are now able to inhale the pollen that was smoke particles before. Either way it was not pleasant coughing all night from post nasal drip and blowing my nose all day so that it was sore. The netti pot cleared most of it out and I was able to breathe without dripping and with my mouth closed so I wasn't having to drink water all night for the dry mouth.
I drove up lat Thursday (8-23) to attend my granddaughters' wedding and it was a pleasant enough drive up until I hit Portland and wondered if the traffic was always that bad. I made it through just fine but by the time I got to the hotel at 5 I was tired and starving and just wanted a meal and a bath then bed. Which I did. The next morning I was up early as always so I headed to the casino nearby, about a 10 minute drive away and did very well. But then I had to go back to the hotel to get ready for the wedding, it was scheduled for Friday late afternoon (between 4:30 and 5) and I was the first to get there and got to spend a little time with Sis (the granddaughter getting married) and meet the parents and groom, who I enjoyed (them all) very mush. Totally fell in love with the mom, she is so like me and we just had an instant connection. More on Eva later.
From the wedding:
Me and my grandchildren:
I got to see my other grand kids (Kiyah and Brea) and meet all the great grand babies as well as meeting their aunties from their moms side of the famile. I had heard so much about them over the years and it was nice to finally connect. The wedding was simple and in the backyard of the parents' home and the food was homemade and wonderful. Since the wedding didn't start until 6 after all and after eating and hearing the toasts I was going to head out (I was tired and had a full day planned with the grand kids the next morning) and when I got to the front of the house and started chatting with Eva and hung out there for another hour. Someone brought Luna (Sis and hubby's baby--they were already married but never had a ceremony for the family) out and I held and loved on her for awhile while chatting with Eva. I finally left around 8 so I could get back before dark since I was in new territory and out in the middle of nowhere and I made it back safely and had a hot bath before bed.
Saturday I woke up early, as usual, and figured I could get a little more casino time in since the kids wouldn't be picking me up until 8. So I was at the casino by 5:30 and had another GREAT time there, they were more than kind to me, but it helped that I was just in alignment with what I was wanting and intending. I had set my alarm for 7:30 to head back to the hotel to be ready for the kids and I was, at that time, winning on the houses money but I had to go. By 8:25 there were no kids and no word from any of them so I called Sis and left a message then texted her and waited for a reply. Eva texted and so I called her and we chatted for a bit and with no word from anyone else I decided to take off and play by myself.
So I went shopping, buying 16 new CD's to have tunes on the way home and a few other things that delighted me and having left my phone in the truck never did get the message that finally came. They were wanting to change the time and the younger 2 had cancelled but i turned out that when I didn't get back to Sis, she and her hubby and kids took off to hang with her aunt who said I probably got mad and went home. How stupid is that conclusion? Rather negative I think but then I don't really care what they think of me so I just considered the source. I finally connected on the phone with Sis and said first of all I don't get mad, I just move on and with the bad communication it was just a missed opportunity but I went off to play and not waste the day sitting around waiting to hear something.
Heading back from shopping I called Eva and said I had not heard from the kids and she told me they went to her aunts to use the pool. So I asked if she wanted to go to the casino with me for awhile. And that is what we did. I really enjoy her company and her energy and we had a nice time though neither of us won anything that evening. The object was to have fun so in that we we both won but we didn't take the casino's money home which was okay for me, they had been really generous with me and I was set for awhile and was taking some of it home as it was.
This weekend, since we have a 3 day weekend I decided it was time to do some exploring so I had the intention of going to the coast on Saturday morning and over to Seven Feathers on Sunday and doing some reading and writing today. I accomplished all f it but Friday night, after battling a bug all week I suddenly got the chills and felt light headed. I headed for bed and hoped to feel better Saturday, which I did a bit so I took off for a leisurely drive over to the coast. I had the best day ever, although I did start feeling crappy again around 5 pm and headed home. But while I was over there I meandered through their cute shops and hit he beach and collected some driftwood which I am going to make a chime from, like a bamboo chime but driftwood instead of bamboo. I was walking along the beach and hitting different pieces of wood against each other and enjoyed the sound. I saw so much beauty that day:
I stopped to pee and played for a few minutes and won so I continued on my little adventure
A really cool chair outside the casino
Best paint job ever!
Brookings area in Oregon
It just made me smile, making tracks.....
I spent part of today organizing and putting about 400 pictures in an album from the picnic since people are wondering when they will see them. I also cleaned my room and have been catching up on a book I have been reading as well as writing here. It is back to work tomorrow but I am well rested and will likely turn in early tonight to make sure I am healthy as well as rested. I do feel much better today and I am grateful for that, it isn't fun fighting illness when you are use to wellness.
So for now, you are mostly caught up and I am satisfied so until next time, stay blessed, be well and all my love <3
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