This one came about because, as usual, I was trying to be kind and help someone and I was told off very nastily and with much vehemence and I let it bother me for a couple hours before I let it go as I thought about it not being my kindness but their ugliness that was at the heart of it and decided to write about it.
Part of me wanted to warn you to NEVER help anyone if they don't ask you for help but that is not my nature. I just sometimes forget that it is a foreign concept to many people that you want to help them succeed and that is why you offer the help in the first place. I have never once had a homeless person be rude to me for offering them money even if they did not ask for it. And the thank you that they have given IS the proper response.
And to those of you who may not be familiar with kind people who just want to help others, should they offer you help, even if you do not want it, just say "thank you" and go your miserable or merry little way. There is no reason to bite the hand that offers to assist you, none whatsoever. So don't be ugly, okay?
Sure, I could have just as easily (well not really as it is not my nature) have sought revenge on them and returned the hurtfulness. But that is not a proper or positive response now is it? I know that people can react that way for whatever perceived wrong that has been done to them, but I was not malicious in my offer and so did not see that reaction coming at all. It really rather blew my mind for a minute.
While it is quite reasonable to think, from an egoistic perspective, that someone trying to help you is an insult to your intelligence, it is not at all. People who come from a loving, helpful space do not see themselves as better than anyone else, only wanting to assist others with the lessons they learned from their mistakes so that others do not have to go through that as they did.
So the next time you want to offer assistance remember that not everyone will appreciate your kindness and may react with hostility. And the next time someone offers you assistance, just say thank you and don't crush the person offering the assistance, that is just mean and ugly. And that is why I say:
Some people will return your kindness with nastiness and it will have nothing to do with your kindness.
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