Let me back up, for those of you who do not know my history. I grew up in a house that did not attend or even speak of church, let alone own a bible. But given that I was able to see and speak with spirits, I just knew there was some power greater than myself. As a child I could not really explain what it was, but I knew it was there. Since I grew up with a lot of abuse, I knew that there was something better even if I could not quite picture what it was, there had to be a reason for all of it.
My oldest brother, who was grown and out on his own when I came along, was one of my closest links to that "better" beyond what I was living. I was always close to him, me hanging on like he was a life preserver while I was battling an angry ocean. He had all this wisdom that I wanted to understand and to this day I still listen when he advises me (well, mostly) because he is what you could call a self made man. By all appearances, he has it all, wants for nothing, does what he loves when he wants, with whom he wants, wherever he chooses to do whatever that is.
I did raise my child in the church, not because I had any great "calling" to be a Christian but mostly because I enjoyed church, especially the worship part. I will be the first to admit that I cannot carry a tune in a bucket, but I still love to sing. Add to that the fact that we, like many species, are social creatures and fellowship is a wonderful thing. I was raising my son in a little town of 3,000 souls that had around 26 churches I think. I tried a lot of them before I settled on one and that was mostly because they had an amazing worship team, with full instrumentation. In a small town where everyone knows everyone else, it was a good fit for us.
Getting back to the original thought of today's post, I asked my brother if he believed in God and to this day his answer is as clear to me as if he had just now spoken it. He said "I believe in myself". I never believed God to be this white haired old man on a throne with a staff looking down on us in judgment, but more of a peace that is within us. Even in the bible it is said "my peace I leave with you". But his (my brothers') words "I believe in me" have stayed with me.
And of course he is right, again. Handsome and smart, such a great combination. Because I have learned over the years that what we think of ourselves matters more than anything else in this world. If you think you are not worthy of anything good, you will never experience the good, your thoughts being the starting point of the creation of your reality. But if, like my brother, you believe good things about yourself and that good is your destiny, your birthright, then that is what you will experience as that is what you will create. He believed in greater for himself, that he was worth it and could have it and so he has. I have, too, but not always consistently.
I, like my little blog here, am a work in progress, farther along than some, not as far as others, but a work in progress all the same. And so I mind my thoughts and listen to what I tell myself about myself and the world at large and mostly I experience great things. I invite you to look at what you think of yourself and what your experiences look like because of your thoughts about yourself.
What you think of yourself matters more than anything else in this world.
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