LTSG

Posted this earlier, but for some reason it didn't appear here.  But I am back :-D

LTSG.  Sometimes it just needs to be said, Let That Shit GO. It does'nt just apply to anger and resentments but it is a given, at least for me, that you should not hang on to those in any case, but if you do LTSG.  Sorry, off track, as my train of thought has a wont to do, but back on track now, it also applies to any situation that captures your thoughts that are not serving a purpose.

Case in point, I had been 3/4 of the way through a good John Lescroat book when I was picked up at the airport on Wednesday evening. I didn't think about that book until I was ready to go to bed and I like to read a little when I retire of an evening. Since I had unpacked my suitcases and was already in my jammies, I didn't want to trot out to the car to fetch it.  So when Bev got home last night I went and looked for it and did not locate it. It kind of irritated me because I thought I lost it somewhere on the way between the airport and home, maybe leaving it on the bench I was perched on whilst waiting for her arrival.  So as I went to sleep I thought, among many things, oh well I'll find another copy at some point and finish it at that point.  LTSG, I did. 7:11 am this morning and I sat bolt upright in bed and all because I saw, clear as day, myself laying it in the trunk when I wheeled my duffel bag to the car that night.

That said, I thought about that particular instance and looking back realized that every time in the past that I was searching for an answer to something it always came when I let the thought of the issue go.  Without fail.  Most of the time I am not attached to anything (people being the exception), not materially or emotionally and on those occassions when I find myself attached to something (like finding that book) I cannot hold it and things don't "flow" as they sould.  Think about it, if you are attached to an outcome, any outcome about anything, what do you feel if it turns out differently?  Most of the time we feel hurt or anger or some other negative feeling, yes?  LTSG.  You cannot move forward if you are stuck in one place intentionally.  And when you get hung up on a thought, you are intentionally (maybe without being conscience of it) choosing to be stuck.  It has some power over you.  I am too much of a control freak, at least where my thoughts and emotions are concerned, to let anything have power over me. Mostly.

Letting that go now, I was thinking, after I let the book stuff go last night, how we really cannot speak of the present.  Well, maybe if you are on the phone telling someone that you are doing (pick a thing..whatever) whatever it was you were doing when they called because then it is already in the past.  So we think in terms of past or future really.  When you meet someone and share your story, you are in point of fact, speaking of the past, just as when you share memories with another and you are both reminiscing, you are recalling past stuff.  Or if you are planning future stuff, the future hasn't yet happened and once it does, it is in the past. To be present is a state, with each second, to be in and not really a thing you can discuss.  It just is.

And memories are a good thing, wonderful in fact, but memories, good or bad, have emotions attached to them.  And if they are positive it serves you well but if they are negative, not so much.  Having been through a LOT of negative crap in my life, I can honestly say that if I had stayed attached to the (negative) emotions, I likely would not be alive or free today.  That shit will drive you nuts, crazy, insane, really.  At the very least, it will rob you of any joy of the present moment.  And there is no freedom in being held captive, either behind bars or in your own bitterness, it is captivity either way.  And despte or in spite of all my "crap", I am one of the most joyful, zen people you will ever have the pleasure of meeting.  Because I LTSG, mostly immediately, if I step into it to begin with.  It doesn't have to be bad even, like the book, it was a minor frustration really, but it wasn't a positive emotion.  Those we keep because they bring more joy.

My point, I suppose, is that you cannot enjoy what IS if you are mentally living where you were or where you will be. All different places.  I choose IS, cherish what WAS and look forwward to what WILL BE.