You don't need a quarter

In the past I have thought, however wrongly, that when dealing with clueless people  (another label, one of many, which I detest) "here, I will give you a quarter so you can buy a clue (and in the back of my mind I wonder why it is only a penny for ones thoughts, as if that is what they are worth, the important things and a quarter to buy a clue, which, if they are not having any, may be a wise investment I suppose).  You know you have dealt with this, too, because, after all we are more alike than different  That said, today you do not need a quarter or anything besides your rapt interest to get a huge clue about ME.  I think I have kept this blog honestly and that it stays true to my character throughout.  But how I got to be this person is fascinating in its own right.  Or not, if you are judging.  But leaving judgments aside, I suppose my story may not be all that different from many, which is why it will resonate with so many people.  Okay, maybe different circumstances and upbringings but still we all have the same emotions and feelings.  Which makes everyones' story fascinating in a way.

This picture of the dandelions has nothing to do with anything today but it was the only picture I have taken so far.  I like to include pictures :-)  They are just kind of pretty to look at from the porch.

So today, since I was in my "writers mode" I spent a big chunk of the day just going back to work on my book, my life story.  And lucky you, you get page one today:

Forward

For the life of me, I cannot explain why I was born in Kansas, not that there is anything wrong with that, but I don't think of myself as ever having been there.  Not with the soul of a gypsy and no memory whatsoever of ever having being there.  I have always said that we must have been passing through when I entered  this world.  I have very early memories and they are of Colorado, later California and much later Hawaii and to be honest, as I am, I always considered Colorado to be where I came from.

I can, however, look back over the decades and see that I have always been curious.  Mind of an engineer, soul of a gypsy and heart of a healer, that would be me.  My childhood was not particularly all pleasant and was oft times brutal in my opinion but I was taught not only respect but fear,  or as I thought of it then, respect through intimidation.  It would take many years to become fearless but the respect has always stayed ingrained in me.

I have learned many things in this lifetime and due to a TBI in 1986 my sequence of events as they happened may be questioned and with good reason, but regardless of the sequence, it is all true.

I started out chronologically but in the process, being the nature of who I am, I switched to reflecting to convey my message.  It is, after all, what we do.  We truly only have each moment and then it is past and something you reflect upon.

End of page 1

I understand that it is not very detailed and you may still not have a clue as to why I am who I am but that is how my book started.  I can add a page a day for this week and see how that goes.  It may well just suck you in like any good book!  I am only up to page 8 right now, although I do have a whole page of an outline that I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of yet.  I meander, in life, thoughts and so it follows, with my writing.  Part, nature and part TBI, the shiny object syndrome as it were.  Oh look.....

And she's distracted and the thoughts are elsewhere.  It's how it happens to be.  But it is also part of my charm since I stay in the moment, much like children and animals do.  Growing up we get that trained right out of us, to our detriment, I believe.  It's the main reason kids and animals seem so content.  Until they are taught not to.  Animals never stay out of the moment for more than a moment though.  Think about it.  You "scold" your dog and as soon as it is over with, it is right back to being happy and loving you just as it aways has.

But I can write for hours and it seems like leaving my physical body while I am doing so.  This morning, when I started, it was cold and in the low 40's and the whole time I was writing, I didn't even feel it. And I don't think it was because it warmed me from within, but I could be wrong.  It was more like being so absorbed that I didn't think about how cold I was.  Firing on all cylinders, on a higher plane.  That is what writing is for me, a calling, a passion, a must do to survive happily and healthy in mind, body and spirit.  Everyone has that "thing" but not everyone realizes what it is.  Sure, I get great pleasure from some of the things I work on and at but it is not the thing I was called to do.  Writing is.  Besides, I can be as entertaining as all get out.  Some of you know that from my stories on my facebook (personal) page.  I am hilarious.  Just recognizing the facts as they have been told to me.

It is now nearly 4:30 pm and I have yet to start a chime and I am okay with that.  Tomorrow is back to work and maybe a week of long days so I am relaxing while I can.  I did talk for an hour to my little sister so that was something important that I did today.  And I played with the dogs and they think that it is important for me to do so I feel pretty good about the day overall.  So until tomorrow...

Have a great evening, be well and all my love.